I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
