He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
