Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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