So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
