please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
