She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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