Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
