This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
