she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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