I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
