Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
