She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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