Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
