I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
