The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
