I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
