I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
