There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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