I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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