I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
