...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
People probably think Iโm a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but itโs really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
