my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
