yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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