She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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