you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
