hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize