Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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