He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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