Yo dont text me then not text me
that's an acceptable place to lick
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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