it hurts more in the daytime
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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