walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
