that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
