he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
