you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
