i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This baby is an asshole
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Randomize
