I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
