Your face is a jimmy john
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
