party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
