There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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