I need to stop coming to work sober
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
