Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
