I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
