well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
