sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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