There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
