Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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