I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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