the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
