Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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