She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im six kinds of drunk right now
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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