Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
