Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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