32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
