Betty ford says i'm here all night
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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