summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
