is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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