I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
