so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
