You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
