i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
