dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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